A couple of months back, I was getting advice from the Festival’s intrepid accountant, Tony—who loves the Humanities even more than he loves the tax code, which is saying quite a bit—when, completely without warning, he paused right in the middle of expounding on the question of whether the cash cost of online archives can be capitalized and depreciated, and said “Stu, I see you are having Kareem Abdul-Jabbar at the Festival this fall.”
“Yea,” I explain, adjusting to the non sequitur. “Our theme is ‘the body.’ We thought it made sense.”
“People are going to love it,” he says.
“I hope so,” I said.
“What about other athletes?” he asks.
“Well,” I hedge, thinking Tony is going suggest something crazy and I’m going to have to steer him back to depreciation, “not that many athletes would really fit at the Festival. Arthur Ashe, but he’s gone. Bill Bradley, but he’s kind of dull. Phil Jackson, but he’s gone to L.A. Doug Glanville, but…”
“What about Frank Shorter?” says Tony.
I know that Tony doesn’t know I’ve run a bunch of marathons and do at least 25 miles a week and have for the last 20 years in rain, snow and heat and revere the mustachioed Shorter as the iconic distance runner, the emblem of a golden age. The last American to win the Olympic marathon back in 1972. The winner of a silver medal in the following Olympics. Friend to Steve Prefontaine. Yalie. The guy who went to law school and dominated the distance running world simultaneously. Who founded and ran the anti-doping agency that now polices the Olympics. Thoughtful. Graceful. Articulate. Father of the running boom. Shorter is to running as Kareem is to basketball. Class personified. The pinnacle.
Frank Shorter in his prime
“Frank Shorter would be amazing,” I mumble.
And now, to my complete and now escalating amazement, Tony proceeds to tell me that:
1) He’s known Frank for 35 years. (Incredible!)
2) Tony and his twin brother and business partner Carl, helped found and launch the first Chicago Marathon with Frank. (Astonishing!)
3) Tony and Carl knew Frank because they too were high-end marathoners, both regularly clocking times in the jaw-dropping 2 hour and 25 minute range. (World-class, marathoning twin accountants?? Has anyone dreamt of such a thing?); and finally,
4) They do his taxes. (Somebody has to do his taxes, but still.)
“You want to talk to him?” says Tony thumbing through the contact list on his cell phone. “I bet he’d love to be part of the Festival.”
I can only stare back dumbly nodding, and grinning the grin of a guy who’s just had something wonderful fall into his lap.
Five minutes later, I’m talking to Frank on Tony’s cell. Five minutes after that, he’s in.
“Tony,” I say, barely able to comprehend what’s just happened, “that was amazing.”
“My pleasure,” he says. “Now about that depreciation schedule…”
Lecture
#201: Wed, Nov. 3 6:00 - 7:00 PM
Tags: running, athletes, taxes, The Body
