Abra Berens: Hosting a Dinner Party

The purpose of this packet is to help take some of the ideas talked about throughout Chicago Humanities Festival and move them into the domestic space via dinner parties as conversation salons, because listening to a lecture is learning but exploring those ideas with others is edification. Thinking about how to help lay the setting for conversation has distilled some key elements of hosting, revealed how to do so deliberately, and produced a couple tools to encourage and support others to do so. 

First and foremost, consider why you want to host. What is at the heart of the gathering that affects not only how you lay the scene but also how the gathering will feel to you (and hopefully to others)? This is not a manual for gathering out of obligation. It is a handy tool kit to aid your role as a host who is truly at ease and that uses food as a vehicle for talking about the big and little things of life, as you want to. 

After you’ve decided why, the most important thing is the care with which you hold your guests. This is sometimes offhandedly referred to as cooking with love. I don’t love everyone I host, but at least for that night, I care for them. Thinking about what they need to feel at ease is one of the most caring things out there. 

Confidence and vulnerability are inextricable from great hosting. I came to this understanding from something my husband, Erik, says about weddings: the energy of the couple determines the experience of the guests. Weddings are hard. The couple is on display, and there are a lot of “cooks in the kitchen”. That can be insecurity-inducing. The best weddings, and gatherings of any sort, are when the grace of the host multiplies with the enthusiasm of their guests. Do whatever it takes to be truly, coolly confident, and for me that often means inviting some vulnerability. 

Remember that too many sequins can ruin the dress, aka Less is More. Think about what you want to provide and then take two things off. Don’t let the appetizer hour steal the food show, because that is when people are still siloed. Get them loose, and then bring them together. 

Be prepared to spur or shift conversation. Think about what you want to know or ask each person attending, and why. Ask and then allow the work of creating a space for the exchange of ideas to blossom without too much tending, even if it can be a bit nerve wracking to have created a space for intense conversation.

Ultimately, I believe that the table is where much of our culture is developed. Creating that setting has little to do with the food and nothing to do knowing where Ms. Manners would put the fork. I hope that these ideas, with recipes as support, make it easier for you to build an even better society one conversation at a time in the comfort of your own home.

• 1 sheet of phyllo pastry per person attending (or minimum 6)
• olive oil
• 1 ½ cup pistachios, walnuts, and almonds (any proportion is aok)
• 1 lemon zest
• 1 tsp 5 spice or cinnamon
• ½ tsp salt
• ¼ cup plus 2 tbsp sugar
• ¼ cup honey

1. Heat oven to 350F
2. Toast the nuts until deeply browned and fragrant, about 10 minutes
3. Allow the nuts to cool and then pulse in a food processor with the lemon zest, 5 spice, salt, 2 tbsp sugar, and 2 tbsp olive oil
4. In a small sauce pan, heat the ¼ cup of sugar and honey with ½ cup water to make a light syrup
5. Allow the syrup to cool and then add a glug or two of olive oil to it
6. Lay out the first sheet of phyllo and brush with olive oil all the way to the edges 
7. Repeat with the next sheet of phyllo
8. Spread a ½ cup of the nut mixture in thin line along the long length of the phyllo layers leaving about two inches from the bottom
9. Brush all exposed edges of phyllo with more olive oil
10. Roll the two inch border over the nut mixture and roll all the way to the top making a thin log
11. Repeat with the remaining phyllo layers and nut mixture
12. Transfer the three logs to a baking sheet or oven proof dish and cut into 2 inch long pieces
13. Bake until golden brown and caramelized about 35 minutes
14. Remove from the oven and immediately pour the honey syrup all over and finish with a sprinkle of salt
15. Let the baklava rest until dessert—it stores at room temperature for about a week 

This is one of my favorite things in the world because it is endlessly surprising for people and endlessly adaptable to any time of year. It can also be made vegetarian by substituting the chicken for a showstopper vegetable that can take longer cooking; things like squash wedges, thick mushrooms, or big pieces of cauliflower have worked for me in the past. If making vegetarian, I also often add some chickpeas or firm tofu to the base for extra protein. If you need a gluten free option, potatoes or other root vegetables fill in nicely. 

Notes: 

I keep a random bag of cubed bread ends and old bread in my freezer to make this dish which gives second life to the last of a loaf. 

This can be made a few days in advance and held in the fridge until the day of your party. No need to bring it to room temp just pop it into the oven.

If using potatoes, use 1 cup of stock because they don’t absorb liquid in the same way

• 8 bone in, skin on chicken thighs (you can use a whole chicken spatchcocked or pieces too)
• 3-4 cups cubed bread
• 1 onion, sliced thinly
• 4 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
• ¾ cup something acidic, cherry tomatoes, pickles, sauerkraut, kimchi 
• 1 lemon, cut into quarters and seeds removed then cut into ½ inch thick pieces
• 1 cup dry white wine or ¼ cup vinegar diluted into water
• 1 ½ cup stock or water

1. Heat oven to 400F
2. In a large oven proof frying pan, heat a glug of oil over medium heat
3. Pat the chicken thighs dry and then season liberally with salt and pepper
4. Sear, skin side down until the skin is golden brown then remove from the pan
5. Add the bread, onion, garlic, acidic item, and lemon and toss all around
6. Add the wine and the stock then lay the thighs skin side up on top of the bread
7. Return to medium heat and bring the liquid to a boil (just a couple of bubbles is fine)
8. Remove from the heat and transfer to the oven to bake until the chicken is cooked through, about 35 minutes
9. The liquid should be mostly absorbed and the chicken cooked through with crunchy bits of bread and soggy bits of bread—if there is still a lot of liquid return to the burner and simmer until reduced

DO NOT MAKE THIS WITH BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLES!

• 1 onion, sliced thinly
• 2 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
• 1 cup chopped dill pickles
• 1 cup pickle juice
• 1 lb Yukon gold or similar potato, cut into chunks
• 4 cups stock or water
• ½ cup cream (optional)
• 3 sprigs dill or parsley, chopped

1. In a soup pot, heat a knob of butter or big glug of olive oil over medium heat
2. Add the onions and garlic with a big pinch of salt and sweat until soft but not browning
3. Add the pickles and pickle juice and increase the heat to high and simmer until reduced by half
4. Add the potatoes and stock, bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook until the potatoes are tender
5. Blend until silky smooth then whisk in the cream if using
6. Taste and adjust the seasoning as desired
7. Serve with a sprinkle of dill, grind of pepper, and glug of olive oil over the top

Note:

The danger in serving soup for a party is that folks get full, so plan on only 4 oz or so per person. With that portioning you will have leftovers from this recipe, which is a good thing. 

Additionally, while soup is a bit of a risk for a party, it also helps the group transition to the table. Everyone loves to chat, and the expediency of soup can force them to sit down finally! To limit the stuffiness of a plated course at a party, I often serve this in a small mug and no spoon. 

• 1 cup tahini
• ½ cup water
• Splash of vinegar or lemon
• Pinch of salt
  

1. Put everything into a bowl and whisk together—it won’t look like it will work but it will come together
2. You can thin with more water or thicken with more tahini
3. Serve with any sort of vegetables, a mix or a pile of one type if that’s what you have

You can add other things to this a bit of garlic or capers or anchovy. Then spoon it over whatever sounded good to you—sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, roasted carrots, thinly cut celery. Whatevs, just whatever you are into. 

• 2 lemons, zest and juice
• 1 bunch parsley, finely chopped
• 1 cup olive oil
• Big pinch of salt

1. Mix everything together and spoon liberally.

Note:

The lemon will eventually cause the parsley to oxidize and turn army green instead of bright green, it won’t hurt you but isn’t as visually vibrant, so I tend to not combine everything until 30 minutes or so ahead. You can chop the parsley and mix the lemon and olive oil days in advance and then just stir together in a flash.